My personal reflections based solely on my impressions during my first year of life in Tajikistan. I have lived in Ukraine all my life and have nothing to compare it with, so my conclusions are extremely subjective. And most likely they will change over time.
Humility, submission, obedience – what emotions do these words evoke in you? Respect, awe, indignation or discouragement? I have been with the Lord not so long, only 4 years, and for me these words are one of the qualities of Jesus Christ, because He was humble and submissive to the Father and said: “Learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart. And obedience to God is taught from the very first chapters of the Bible.
What am I talking about? It’s about Tajikistan. In one article about the problems of Tajik women I read that from childhood they are “taught to humble themselves, to be submissive, obedient, silent, and yet they do not even try to resist”. How does that resonate in your heart, what are the feelings?
For me, it’s beautiful. This is what I think femininity looks like: “The hidden man of the heart in the imperishable beauty of a meek and silent spirit, which is precious in the sight of God,” – 1 Peter 3:4.
I have heard a lot about the humiliation of women in Tajikistan. For example, even in the city there are still families who give their daughters in marriage without their consent. Also, some parents take their daughters out of school after 9th grade because they think that education is not too important in a girl’s life, but at home she will help with younger children. But still, these are isolated cases in the city. Mostly, girls here study at institutes, work, have a rest, and I have not noticed any “infringement of women’s rights”.
But in villages, of course, the situation is quite different… Although I have almost never been to Tajik villages, I have heard that there children do not study in schools at all, but not because of “gender inequality”, but because parents do not have money for this. Of course, if out of 5 children only one can study, parents will choose a boy so that he can support his future family and support his parents. Does that seem strange or unfair?
Despite all these “horrible” cultural moments, I see Tajik women as incredibly beautiful! Not only on the outside, but also on the inside. Not humiliated-beaten, insulted, uneducated, and unresponsive, but beautiful! If a girl truly humbles herself, chooses to be obedient to her parents, her heart becomes more beautiful, she learns to love and rejoice in the place she has been assigned. I have seen girls like that, and not Christian girls at that. I think God appreciates their sincere humility.
I once asked a wise missionary what would happen if a mutual acquaintance of ours, a young girl, was forced into marriage by her parents? She replied, “Then she would get married.” My first reaction was: no! She is a good student, she has her own plans, dreams, ambitions! I want to save the girl, to take her away, to “free” her… And some girls do run away from home in such a situation or commit suicide. But what God wants… Obedience to parents is in the Ten Commandments given by God through Moses. So it’s important to God. And Paul in his letter to Timothy pointed out disobedience to parents as one of the signs of the end times. But what about, for example, when parents sell their 12-year-old daughter to marry a 50-year-old man? Or when a father beats his children and keeps the whole family in fear? Is obedience appropriate then? I don’t know, it’s too complicated yet…. But I do know that the prophet Jeremiah suffered terrible torments from the Lord, but remained obedient to Him:
“He [God] has become to me like a bear in ambush, like a lion in hiding;
has perverted my ways and torn me down and brought me to nothing.
Good to him who patiently waits for salvation from the Lord. It is good for a man when he bears the yoke in his youth; when he sits alone and is silent, for He has laid it upon him; when he puts his mouth in the dust, thinking, “Perhaps there is hope yet”; when he sets his palm to him who scourges him, when he is fed up with the reproach, for the Lord does not forsake him forever. But He has sent woe, and will have mercy according to His great goodness” (Lamentations of Jeremiah, 3:3)
Of course, humility is a difficult path, especially without Christ. That is why in Tajikistan there are many women who are embittered, destroyed, and broken… Someone hates her husband all her life and waits for him to die, even though he has done nothing wrong. And someone is regularly beaten by her husband (many, if you believe different statistics – from 50 to 80%). Sounds scary at first glance, but, excuse me, where are there no problems?
I can only compare with Ukraine, and I will say that Ukrainian women have no less problems than Tajik women. Many of our men like to drink, loiter, raise their hands on their wives. Millions of women have abortions at the initiative of a man or because of insecurity in him. And how many broken families we have! In some regions, the divorce rate reaches 80%!!! How many girls now do not want to get married at all, because in Ukrainian culture it is already considered normal if a girl just sleeps with guys, without obligations, a couple of months with one, a couple of years with another… The main thing is that she provides for herself, and therefore “has the right”.
Who decided that such a lifestyle is better for a woman than an “uneducated housewife”? To me, a humble, silent Tajik wife looks much more beautiful than a “free modern woman” who proudly slams the door in front of her lover’s nose.
And local women’s clothing deserves a separate paragraph. I don’t have any high taste in such things, so I can’t judge “professionally”. But how beautiful it is when girls do not flash their thighs, nothing falls out of their cleavage, and their pants do not tighten the causal places. And what a variety of fabrics here, shades and patterns! And what shawls!…
My personal conclusion is that women in Tajikistan are generally more feminine than many modern Ukrainians. There is no need to “save and liberate” them from this femininity… Being brought up in a different culture, of course, I would like to share my understanding of freedom and say: you have the right!…. But I wonder if this is not a secular understanding.
After all, Jesus also had the right to ask the Father for a legion of angels… But He chose death to give eternity to sinners who have no right to life. I don’t want to bring worldly freedom or Western culture to Tajikistan, I want to bring Christ, who is the only one who can truly liberate.