In January, during an interview with YWAM DTS Wiler management, we were advised to «take small steps» because the big picture seemed too unrealistic for us. And so, God leads us in small steps. One of our good friends wanted to buy us plane tickets for the whole family. This is a lot of money for us, and for her too, but God put this desire in her heart, and now – our flight from Uzbekistan to Zurich, Switzerland is planned for April 10th. Our God is a God of miracles!
Also, our other missionary friends blessed us with the amount needed for the first registration fee for training (which we should have paid back in January, but we simply did not have that kind of money). I was deeply touched by the fact that they stopped by in the evening just before their departure from Asia. We don’t know them very well, and most likely we won’t see each other soon, but it was something important for me that they came and prayed for us.
Also, God has already provided for our flight to Zurich, where we will need to spend two days and three nights before going to school. Living alone for two days in Switzerland would have been an unaffordable amount for our family. But miraculously, God brought a married couple of missionaries from Switzerland to our city and specifically to our church! They had already made sure that our arrival in Zurich would be a blessed one and not a stressful one.
So, in small steps, we are approaching the beginning of training at YWAM DTS. Or rather, God is bringing us closer, because on our own we would not agree to even try to look in this direction.
But I’ll be honest: my mood changes from day to day. My husband has been very busy for the last month with an electronics project that he needs to finish before his flight, so he simply doesn’t have time to worry and worry about his future school. But I have time to worry.
At first I was skeptical about this whole idea, I was simply afraid to believe so as not to be disappointed, although deep in my heart, of course, I trusted God. And only when I saw the purchased tickets, I was happy and wanted to fly away as quickly as possible from this Tajikistan, which has been pressing on me like a concrete slab all these months. I so want to freely shout on the street «I love you, Jesus!» – and not think about who you can say what to, and with whom you need to be careful…
A few days later, I began to realize that I would miss Tajikistan and did not want to fly away from here at all. And to be honest, I don’t want to fly to an unfamiliar country, completely «different», because I’ve just started to get used to Asia, and suddenly – Europe, seriously? This is the complete opposite, like heat and frost…
In general, today I finally realized that my emotions, feelings, and mood cannot be trusted. God is leading us to Switzerland, which means we need to trust Him and fly to Switzerland. Even if you don’t want to, don’t believe it, it’s incomprehensible, scary, etc. The Lord is good and loving, and He doesn’t want us harm, therefore all His guidance is only for our own good.
«He made everything beautiful in its time, and put peace in their hearts, although man cannot comprehend the works that God does from beginning to end»
(Ecclesiastes 3:11)
Right now I am impressed by the book «Is It Really You, God?», which we were assigned to read before starting missionary school. This book tells about the founding of YWAM back in 1960, about the wonderful leadership of God. Inspired by the faithfulness of our Lord and the obedience of the devoted disciples of Jesus Christ. But I also have a lot of questions. For example, about why so few Christians hear the voice of God, and even fewer obey this voice… And if Christians do not hear God, do not know their calling, only see the goodness and mercy of God in their lives (of course, God is good, this is impossible not to notice) – is this normal? After all, not everyone can be missionaries, just as not everyone can be shepherds, or not everyone can sing in worship. But if those singing in worship understand that God does not call everyone into this area, then how can missionaries understand the same thing if Jesus clearly said: «Go into all the world and make disciples». Shouldn’t this be the highest priority of all possible ministries? I have many questions, I hope I will get at least some of the answers while studying at the missionary school.
God also put it on our hearts to create a Telegram channel in which we will show and talk about everything that will happen at the missionary school. This will be a closed channel for young boys and girls from different countries with whom we know personally. Like the founder of YWAM, we dream of «waves» of young missionaries going around the world. To do this, we need to show today’s youth that there is such an opportunity! That it is not necessary to build your life on worldly stereotypes and values: first college, then work, then family, and then mission. No! While the fire is burning in you and the energy is seething, you can go on a short mission to see (yourself and God), understand (yourself and God), understand (your relationship with God), set priorities and outline your plans for life.
There is also another book, the one I am writing now. It is also about God’s faithfulness, but in conditions of war. I have long carried within me the idea of writing a book about our life in the Lugansk region, but all the time I was waiting for the «right time» from God. And on February 24, on the second anniversary of the start of a full-scale war, I saw in the book of the prophet Haggai:
«This people says: «The time has not yet come, it is not the time to build the house of the Lord».
Is it time for you to live in your decorated houses, while this house is desolate?»
And I realized that God will not write in neon letters in the sky «Start now!» He has already put this desire in me and given me the opportunity, including free time, to write this book. So what else should I wait for? And now the first 40 pages are ready, where I talk about the first month of the war. Of course, things are going very slowly, since my self-organization is poor. But I am happy and enjoy this process, and this is important.
We will have to transfer the board game club to another person and leave all our games to him. Most likely, it will be one non-believer, but a good young guy, a Tajik, who has opened his own English language class. We pray for him that God will give him the strength to open his heart to the good news. And so that he regularly holds club meetings while we are away.
This month I also met with sisters in Christ and one unbelieving girl. I am especially grateful to God for my sister, who invites me to various meetings. For example, we traveled together to a village and visited a young unbelieving girl who had become disabled after her husband beat her. She is only 20 years old, she was given away in marriage, but her husband beat her and returned her to her parents. Now she lives in a dark closet, unable to take care of herself. If someone had worked on her rehabilitation, she would have been able to walk after some time. But no one cares about her, she was crippled and betrayed… I pray that Jesus will supernaturally reveal himself to her as a Savior, Friend and loving Bridegroom who will never harm her or abandon her!
Relations in the church are already improving, thank God. But the situation remained open, everyone simply decided to love each other, without clarifying the relationship. We want to meet with the pastor and talk before we leave for Switzerland so that none of us are left with any disappointments. I am also glad that the first «home group» has already begun in the church – for women 60+ they hold meetings twice a month, I help the leader of this group a little. And even greater joy is that the leaders of several churches in the city decided to cooperate and begin a common social ministry! This is a great blessing, because there is great strength in the unity of Christians! In general, we can safely fly away from here; our absence now will not cause any inconvenience.
I remember the word God gave me a few months ago: «Change in your life is My grace!» — and I try to look positively at the upcoming trip. And I also feel how God is lovingly calling us on this journey to Switzerland, as if quietly whispering, smiling: «I myself created these mountains, and I want to show them to you! Don’t you want to look at My creation?» I am so glad that our Lord is not silent! And here is another word that God gave me last summer, and which greatly encourages me now:
«You will go out with joy and be sent off in peace; the mountains and hills will sing a song before you, and all the trees of the field will applaud you»
(Isaiah 55:12)